"Baby, let me feel like a man."

This is not a full post - yet.

I got this as a text message response to something I said: "Baby, let me feel like a man."

WTH? What does this mean? Why is it you're not feeling like a man? Do I have to pump your...*ego* up? Do I do it manually or is there some sort of machine/online web generator that does this for you?

Ding ding ding!!! Warning sign!!!

The conversation, to this point:

I'm so horny.

See, that's a problem for both of us, because I'm friendly drunk, you're horny, I'm in NM and you're in Cali.

(insert subject line here)

I will probably make some man a very poor trophy wife because I can't make regular guys "feel like a man". Whatever that means.

Maybe I should send him an invoice for such services, based on the current market rate for the top 7% of these services (might as well aim for the best, right?), plus incidentals, traveling and accommodation, no-show fee and any other fees associated with such services. And of course, request 50% downpayment.

Or maybe I should lose his number and move on... he may have been hot, but not that hot. Plus I don't have the time to raise anyone right now, whether it be my man or my children.

Baby Love, take a shot of tequila, grow a pair, let them ripe, and then call me back. Maybe then you'll be ready.